Group Therapy
by yankeedoodlelimey1944
Summary: "An Alcoholic, a kleptomaniac and a kid with OCD walk into a bar and - OW! What was that for?" George cried. Easy Company didn't know what'd hit 'em; one nurse was always half drunk, one kept stealing things and the other flipped out if you swapped something round. Sticking them with Easy Company, with all their problems, apparently, was the brass' idea of group therapy. T for lang
1. Disclaimer

Righty Ho! This is just an introductory chapter, m'kay? Good.

This story is a collaboration between xxxRainbowxxxStarxxx (me), vintagecowgirl1010 and possibly a third person, we're just using this new account so we don't have to fanny around with sending each other a chapter at a time.

Secondly, if you have OCD, Kleptomania or you're an alcoholic, we don't mean to offend you and we don't mean to take the mick. I know some of these things aren't funny, but honestly, Family Guy has said worse.

Thirdly, the DISCLAIMER!

We don't own Band of Brothers, any quotes/poems/song lyrics/ or songs we may use. We don't earn anything from it or stuff like that. Band of Brothers belongs to Steven Speilberg, Tom Hanks and HBO. The only things we own, are the characters and some of the impossible situations they find themselves in that aren't in the series.

Another thing: This story is purely based on the Band of Brothers T.V series and is in no way, to do with the real lives of the of the veterans, whom we have such profound respect for.

Also, if you're reading in America, and some words seem like they're spelled wrong, and it's a chapter that I've written (RainbowStar) it's because I'm British and we have different ways of spelling things, the same goes to those reading in Britain, vintagecowgirl1010 is from America and so we're bound to spell things differently. Also, the third writer is Danish so English isn't her first language. Plus I'm a bit dyslexic.

Last thing: This is FANFICTION. It won't be realistic because of the fact that it is FICTION. Made up. We'll try to make things sound realistic, but we can't guarantee anything.


	2. Queen of OCD

**Queen of OCD**

**Well Guys, Allie here, here's hoping you enjoy this first chapter. Seeing as all us writers have other stories going on, I don't know when we'll be up dating, but until then, enjoy! Please review and tell us what you think! Thanks!  
**

* * *

"My name is Nemo Haifisch. I'm 19 years old, I'm from Cumbria and I plan on becoming a doctor. I've got 3 younger sisters. Dora is the eldest, she's 14, then there's Marigold and Marianne. They're twins and they're 5. I have a dog called Pudge and a cat called Fudge. I ride horses and German is my second language. Oh and I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so if you don't mind, put that straight."

What possessed me to join the Airborne, I don't know. It was full of men and men were messy. My friends said it wouldn't be so bad, they'd have to keep things clean and neat and tidy. But they'd be moving things, nothing would have a proper place. I was dreading it to say the least. Addie said if it got bad, they would just shut me up in the store room, so I could organise that and take inventory. Aren't they nice, taking advantage of my condition.

My CO, was alright, Captain James Herron. He was in Sink's office with me and my two friends. He looked us all over very carefully. Beside him, was Lieutenant Sobel, CO to our new company.

"Sir, what makes you think that being in the Airborne will help them?" he sneered. I did not like that man.

"Because the 101st is a brand new concept in the military. The training is tough, but the men are the best. These nurses are the best and if they have to train harder than men, they won't have time to do what they do."

"Yessir." he replied, still looking at us.

"That's also why I'm attaching them to your company, Mr Sobel."

We all shared the same wide eyed look.

"Sir?"

"Easy Company is the best in the damn unit. They'll train with you."

The only word running through my head at this point was, '_great_'.


	3. A Mutual Understanding

**It's Becca (vintagecowgirl1010) here! First chapter from me, which is basically an introduction to my character, Adelaida. With finals coming up, I can't guarantee any constant updates, but I'll try!**

**A Mutual Understanding**

If you catch yourself in a conversation with my friend Nemo, I'd bet you a bottle to booze she'd tell you I drug her into this. Which is true, I did. If she doesn't, well, pay up on the booze… my stash is running low.

I'm your typical drunk. I don't know my father, and my mother was just your typical lonely girl that got into trouble. Fighting and trouble are my middle name, and I love the nightlife about as much as I love my whiskey.

"How can anybody _live _with all this clutter? It's that damn Cajun who lives like this, that's who…" Nemo straightened out little brown boxes filled with morphine. "I hate you for making me come here with you."

I sucked in a draw of my cancer stick, washing down the smoke with a swig of whiskey, "Shut your yap. Once we find a nice soldier boy for you, you'll be thanking me. You'll see."

She just snorted, gracefully writing down exact numbers of the medical inventory. Even her letters had to be _perfect. _Everything had to be _perfect_. Sometimes I wonder how I possibly live with her, but then I remember we have to get through _this _together.

Growing antsy by her heavy sighs of frustration, I ventured out to lean against the frame of the exterior door. The boiling Georgia sun was setting, spitting out fierce rays of orange and red across the darkening sky. One man fastened white ropes to the flagpole as two others honorable folded the grand American flag. Their figures were silhouetted, but one's broad shoulders snatched my attention.

"Nem… c'mere."

She groaned, "Addie, I'm busy."

"Just get your scrawny ass over here." Truth is, she wasn't really scrawny at all. Even her body form was just _perfect_. I was only 6 months older than her- both 19.

She held her clipboard exactly straight at her side, "You know sometimes you can be really harsh, Addie. What the hell do you want?"

"You know I love you," I quickly shook my silver flask, listening for the sound of a dwindling amount of liquid. "Who's that over there? The one by the pole."

She squinted her perfectly round, fawn eyes, "Looks like that's Captain Nixon. I heard from Doc Roe he has a drinking problem. You'd be a great couple." She giggled in her girlish way.

"Handsome devil," I said to myself. "Match maker, match maker… make me a match," I dryly and sarcastically sang, loudly stepping down the steps. "I'm gonna go ask him if he has any extra to spare. See you around, Nem."

I knew leaving would make her happy; she would have peace and quiet to make everything perfect. Nemo wouldn't be the only one happy- getting my hands on some fresh liquor always lifted my sprits…literally.

I stumbled through the marching field, my already small eyes squinting against the bright setting sun. My head felt dizzy as the gnawing need to get another shot churned through my body. The addiction was getting worse.

"Need something, nurse?" A deep and questioning voice asked at my right.

I barely turned my head, still focusing on the mountain Currahee, "Yea… you Nixon?"

"That's me. What do you need?"

I stumbled closer to him, struggling to keep my eyes open. "Evening, sir. Name's Adelaida Youngblood, but you can call me Addie. My flask here," I lifted it, shaking the last drops of alcohol. It was a sound all too familiar to Nixon. "Is running on empty. I hear you can help?"

A smirk grew on his shadowed lips, "I can't do much, but I can help you with that. Vat69 alright?"

My heart thumped with the sound of my absolute favorite whiskey. "Marry me?"

He chuckled, "I'll take that as a yes."

Us alcoholics understand each other, because we stand alone together.

**Just a little set up- let us know what you think of our characters, please!**

**Until next time!**


	4. The Little Klepto: Holly Holliday

**The Little Klepto: Introducing Holly Holliday**

Righty-ho, Allie here with a new chapter! Sorry it's taken so long peopleski! I've been real busy with college and stressing about what I'm going to do. Also my cousin had a baby, she had to be induced because she had pre-eclampsia, but they're both good, I've been going to see them, so there's the other reason I haven't updated! Sorry! I hope you enjoy **Holly Holliday!**

**Reviews are most welcome!  
**

* * *

"Why don't you ever ask Holly to do the inventory?" Neem asked Addie, as we sat on the steps to our 'cosy' little hut, as the deep orange Georgian sun set on what had been a gloriously sweltering day. Neem took a long, smooth drag of her cigarette, puffing it out in equal little rings.

I guess you could say, the three of us together, made an odd little team. We were like the Three Amigos, only slightly worse.

"Are you insane? Half the stuff would go missing!" Addie replied with a sharp jab in Neem's ribs.

"That's a good point."

"Of course it is. I'm full of good points." Addie nodded wisely, crossing her arms in a way so that she could still smoke.

"Really? I thought you were full of bullshi-"

"YOU!" came a loud and obnoxious yell that stopped Nemo in her tracks. The three of us rolled our eyes. We all knew who that was. We all jumped to our feet, throwing our cigarettes down on the ground, as we came to stand at attention, waiting for Captain Asshole to get to us. And suddenly, a shiny whistle appeared! I started at it for a long while, even while C.A was talking to us. Addie and Nemo followed him, so I followed too. He made Neem walk around inspecting everyone's uniform, and when she didn't see anything wrong with their uniform or kit, he took her pass and told her she wasn't looking properly.

* * *

"What? How can I not be looking properly? There's no one in the army who has as much attention to detail as I do!" Neem griped later in our hut. Addie was out, looking for more whiskey.

Well, that's what she said she was doing. We decided that she was on the look out for that Lieutenant from Easy. Getting whiskey from him was just an excuse to see him.

I rolled my eyes as Neem continued to pace.

"Just calm down, a'right? Ain't nuthin' wrong, he just an ass is all." I told her waving her off, pulling the shiny, silver whistle from my top pocket. Nemo stopped in her tracks, gazing at me for a while, until she realised what I had and jumped back in alarm.

"What is that?" she asked, flustered and pointing to my newly acquired object.

"Oh this? Nuthin'."

"Is that Sobel's whistle?"

"Maybe."

"Are you NUTS?!" she almost yelled, shaking her head, all her dark black, curly locks flying out all over the place.

"No, I'm a kleptomaniac. Besides, it was shiny."

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're going to get into when he finds out it was you who nicked it?"

"Hon' he ain't goin' find out now, is he?"

"No, 'hon' he isn't." she frowned, drawing closer and closer until our faces were inches apart. "Because me and you, are going to put it back."

"Are you serious?"

* * *

"Is who serious?" Addie asked, leaning heavily on the door frame for support. There isn't a night that went by, that she wasn't drunk in Toccoa.

"Idiot here stole Sobel's whistle."

"And idiot over there wants to take it back."

"How are you two going to do that?"

"We sneak in and put it back. I know where everything in his room goes. I had to go fetch him that day, remember?"


	5. The 3 Musketeers!

**The Three Musketeers' First Adventure. **

**Yo! this is still Allie (Rainbowstar) I just had to write the follow up. I hope you'll enjoy this one!  
**

* * *

Nemo's P.O.V

It's quite safe to say, that ever since this fateful incident, I have never opted to replace something Holly had stolen, if it was from Sobel. It was too close a shave and to say that my hips a wider than the other's, I'm surprised I didn't get stuck trying to climb out through the window.

The three of us snook out, once we knew Sobel was asleep (Lewis Nixon really did come in handy. Well he wasn't the intelligence officer for nothing, although, that was very questionable sometimes) and with whistle in position, we headed out to his hut.

* * *

Addie, was absolutely fucking useless. Every two steps she was either on her arse, or had her face 10 foot into the floor because she'd fallen over her fucking shoe laces. I didn't tell her to tie them every two minutes just because I was OCD ya know. In the end, we made her stand guard, not that she was any good at that either. She kept laughing and drinking and laughing.. and drinking. That's all we'd need in combat, her getting tiddly.

The door was too creaky, but luckily for us, he'd left the window open. Heavy, unflattering snores sounded out, thumping through the window. If the big guy could make him snore like a bear, he could help us sneak in and out without getting caught. As if.

* * *

Getting in went with out a hitch. Getting around inside was easy too. It was Holly and Addie that were the fucking problems. All I could hear was Addie giggling her tittles off (you know, little boobs? It was nicer to say to her anyway) and then I had Holly, trying to pick everything up what was on Sobel's desk. I restrained a loud groan, stopping in my tracks, as Sobel stopped snoring. The two of us hit the deck like torpedoed sailors.

My heart beat in my ears for a while (which it shouldn't do, my heart lives in my chest) as I strained to listen to him either getting up or going back to sleep. He went back to sleep. I peeked up, letting the top of my head pop up to the top of his bed. He was not an attractive man. His mouth was wide open, drool flooding out. Wait till I tell George.

We belly crawled to where his trousers hung, and I silently slipped in the whistle. It was all going good after that. We had replaced Sobel's missing whistle and were about to leave. That was until the two massive twats made the biggest noise imaginable. Sobel woke with a start, and I shoved Holly through the window, and I followed as quickly as I could.

* * *

We landed heavily on top of Addie, who yelped loudly and drunkenly.

"You assholes, you fucking nearly killed me!" she slurred, as I yanked her up.

"That's nothing compared to what Sobel will do to us if he catches us."

We darted and dashed through the little rows of huts, until we came to a stop at our door. I had just unlocked it, when the two idiots came crashing into me and the three of us landed in an unattractive heap in the middle of the floor. I hit my head on the bottom of the bed, Holly got elbowed in the eye, and Addie got kicked in the nose. Luckily for her, she drank that much Vat69, she couldn't fucking feel it. We looked a wonderful sight to the guys in the morning, lined up, a stitch in my forehead, a black eye for Holly and a fractured nose for Addie.

* * *

It's safe to say I'd never do it again.

"Hey Holly, what you got there?" George asked as we walked to training.

"Oh, just something of Sobel's."

"Not again!"


	6. Conducting Bar Fights

**Conducting Bar Fights**

Hello thar! I know, I know, it's been a while since I've written anything, I'm sorry guys, but hopefully, this is some what seen as a come back.

Enjoy and please review!

Allie

* * *

"Well... this is nice." I said, still part drunk from the night before. I was referring to the large white holding cell that the three of us were presently sitting in. Why were we in there? Cause we're dicks.

"This? This is nice?" Nem asked me, looking up from shoving her head between her arms on her knees. Holly and I shared a look that tried to prepare us for the imminent onslaught of abuse.

"Well.. we could have been kicked out."

"I would have preferred to have been kicked out, you pair of massive twats!"

"It wasn't like it was our fault!" Holly argued back. I just chose to sit back and enjoy the argument about to happen. Well if I was going to get fucked for this, it may aswell be Nem, since she was a whole world scarier than Sobel, Sink and our boss put together.

* * *

"You're a bunch of nobs, you know that?"

"I find that quite offensive." Holly grumbled.

"Shut up." I hissed. Boss was pissed. And not in the good way. After a full night in the holding cell, by ourselves, we were dragged out, and plopped in front of the Boss, since it was he who was supposed to be keeping an eye on us. It wasn't our fault we got in trouble. We all personally blame the guys. Well it was them who started it.

"I don't know or care who started the whole fiasco, but you three were the ones who everyone saw fighting the most. So care to explain yourselves?"

"Nope."

"Nope.

"Nope."

Boss got madder. Woops.

"Not one of you is willing to tell me what happened? Fine. Just answer me this. How the hell did you get involved? I mean, you I can understand, you're mostly drunk, you'd do anything to take something, but you? What the fuck?!" he asked, completely astounded as to how Nem could have gotten into one of the biggest bar fights in the history of the 101st.

"You can't stand any kind of mess! You got bat shit crazy if I move my lamp to the other side of the fucking table!"

"I wasn't fighting."

"You weren't fighting?" Nem shook her head. "So why have I been told you were on top of the bar, a chair leg in one hand and a bottle in the other?"

"I wasn't fighting, I was conducting the fight and their heads just happened to get in the way is all."

In all my life, I've never seen our Boss, James Herron, look so.. deflated. He slumped back into his chair with an I-don't-fucking-believe-this-shit look on his face, you know, the kind that are funny, when you aren't stood in front of them. Three weeks passes that cost me. Nem lost three week passes because she was 'being clever' and poor Ole Holly lost hers because 'bad shit comes in threes'.

"Fucking tool." I muttered when we got out of the office. Sobel was marching the men towards us just as we walked out. Bad things didn't come in threes. They came in the gangly form of Herbert Sobel. We'd had no food, nothing to drink, hardly any sleep cause Holly was a fucknugget and snored like pig eating shit, not to mention we were still in our scruffy uniforms.

"Ladies, get in formation. We're running Currahee."

The three of us looked at each other, and just thinking about running the massive hill/mountain/thing, made us puke. On Captain Herron's doorstep. Just as he walked out.

"Bastard." he breathed before turning to Sobel. To this day, the old sod still thinks Sobel planned it. Well, we all think it.

Anyway, Captain Herron dismissed us from the day's duty to catch up on sleep and get over our shittyness. We all had a nap when we got into our barracks.

* * *

"Oh fucking Hitler." Nem groaned as she woke up from her nap. She'd only slept half an hour later than us, but she went to sleep half an hour after us... since someone puked up on her bed.

"Who's fucking Hitler?"

"I don't feel any better." she groaned, wincing as she looked out of the window. Checking our watches, we deduced we'd only been asleep for 2 hours.

"Neither do I and I woke up before you." Holly grunted.

"I wonder why that is." my best friend grumbled back, as she sat on the end of the bed.

"If it means anything to you, I also feel like death."

"How can you possibly-" Holly and I winced, shushing Nem, as she said possibly too loudly for us.

"How can you possible feel like death? You drink more than the two of us put together, on a daily basis."

"Well, obviously I exceeded myself, nobface."

"Ladies, there'll be less of that."

A wild Richard Winters appeared!

"Sorry sir."

"No problem. C'mon, canteen's free, there's a few bacon sandwiches for you. Showers are free too."

"Oh, blessed, blessed man! Let the evil fortunes of war never cross your path!"

I don't think at that point anyone cared what anyone said, we were just happy to be fed and showered.

* * *

In the canteen, the three of us sat at our regular table, and were soon joined by the guys. Both my girl friends had hot drinks, but me, not a chance. The only way to cure a hangover is to keep drinking. What? It worked for me.

So, the three of us sat drinking our poisons, when the guys came in.

Now, not many people knew this about my perfectly formed O.C.D best friend, but the kid was Jewish. Well she was technically Jewish, she was a practising Protestant, but her mum had been Jewish. But, I have never seen any Jewish person, be so protective over a slice of bacon.

You just let her sniff a slice and she'd do anything; putty in your hands.

In fact, food was the poor girl's downfall. She loved food. I still don't know how the lucky bitch doesn't put weight on.

"Hey, you got a bacon sandwich? How'd you get one of those?" George started to complain.

"We're more loved than you are." Holly told him, eyeing up a set of knives and forks in front of her, which Bull promptly moved.

George went over to try and steal a bit of bacon from Nem. Bad move George. Bad move. Before he knew it, she grabbed his face and brought it down to her height.

"Nice try George." she smiled, wagging a fork in his face. Sadist.

"Thanks." he winked. Idiot never knew when to stop.

* * *

After 'breakfast', we headed over to our shower block, where Nem proceeded to go ape shit. Someone had moved her things. Where, you ask? To the other side of the shower block? Into another stall? Completely outside of the shower block? NO!

Five fucking centimetres across. And people asked why I drank so much.


End file.
